A Cautionary Tale
Introduction
I self-published this very pithy, Kafkaesque (i.e., inspired by the writings of author Franz Kafka) short story on my X (formerly Twitter) account on Wednesday, February 7, 2024. In retrospect, I really liked how it turned out and the deeper layers of meaning the story evokes. As such, I decided to post the story in its entirety on my blog for my readers’ benefit. I hope you find it entertaining and informative! Please do keep in mind that this is a satirical take on the issues it addresses and is not intended to be taken literally or at face value. It is, rather, intended to be read as a kind of prose poem with a dream logic, as one might read a short story by Kafka.
The Story
It was a bright, summery Tuesday morning when Carrot™ Technologies released their amazing, innovative, shiny new product, the Brain Chip®. The lines were long and winding outside the Carrot™ Tech. stores in Palo Alto, California, and, indeed, everywhere in California and the USA. Overnight campers in sleeping bags groggily stretched themselves in the blinding morning sunshine, glancing around at the winding queue in front of the Palo Alto Carrot™ Tech. store.
Johnny Q., a sophomore student at Stanford Undergraduate College, eagerly awaited his turn for the quick, harmless surgical procedure that would insert a Carrot™ Brain Chip® into his cerebral cortex, forever altering his perception and experience of reality.
When the usher at the doorway finally signaled his entrance into the store with a slight nod, Johnny Q. strode confidently into the well-lit, stylish, glass-walled room with a smile on his lips and a bound in his step. He gladly shelled out his life savings at the cashier before he was directed into one of the softly lit back rooms for the quick, painless procedure that would insert a perfectly designed and engineered silicon chip into the moist, quivering gray matter somewhere near the front and center of his brain.
The experience was revolutionary! Eye-opening! Johnny Q. could scarcely contain himself as he chatted with his best buddy, Robbie X., over highly sugared, overpriced concoctions at the local Starpucks™ café.
“It’s unbelievable! Incredible!” gushed Johnny Q. “With just a thought, I can access Gooble™ Maps or Carrot™ TV! will never get lost again — the Brain Chip® has a built-in GPS tracker that will navigate me home no matter where in the world I might find myself! And I will never be at a loss for entertainment! With Carrot™ TV and YouBube™ videos immediately accessible in my mind’s eye, life will forever be filled with endless moments of hilarity and suspense! And, what’s more, I get helpful alert messages constantly popping up in my memory, reminding me about chores I have to do or errands I have to run! It’s such an incredible, amazing convenience!” Johnny Q.’s eyes began to glaze over slightly as his buddy, Robbie X., eyed him a bit hesitantly.
That night, filled with overwhelming satisfaction at a day well spent, watching YouBube™ videos in his mind’s eye and listening to an endless stream of Splotify™ podcasts magically playing inside his ears, Johnny Q. prepared for a well-earned sleep. As he snuggled beneath his soft, comfortable blankets, he shut his eyes and began to drift off. Pretty soon, he began to enter REM sleep and dream.
And right about then, just as the dream was about to begin, Johnny Q. noticed something odd. In his mind’s eye, he began to witness something blurry and misshapen materialize in the air right in front of him. Within moments, the blurry shapes crystallized into bold, elegant alphabets and formed coherent words…
And the words read: “This dream is brought to you by Pfizer™. Pleasant dreams!”
THE END.
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